Monday, July 5, 2010

And It Was Very Good

I slip my feet snug into my running shoes. I don't know where I am going-- I just know I need to get out.

"You should come play ultimate with us," my husband says. "It would be a good break for you."

We've just spent the last six(+) hours support-raising. I feel discouraged, confused, and (most of all) guilty--because I know I shouldn't feel this way.

I shake my head. I am sensing a Holy-Spirit tug. "I think I just need to get out alone."

"Jesus went out to a solitary place." - Lk 4:42

I usually run. This time I walk. Walking seems more appropriate tonight. It's a thick humidity and I talk my steps slower than normal. I wind myself in and out of forgotten paths, until I am led into an evergreen forest deepened by twilight.

That's when the lightening bugs started worshiping.

lightning bugs Pictures, Images and Photos

All at once, I am stricken by awe. In wonder, I try to take it all in, but it's too much for me. I want to drink in the beauty. I want to join the twinkling bugs in flight. I long for the restoration of God's creation--for the day when I can fully understand how to comprehend and join in such beauty.

I think it's all I can handle, when three deer prance behind me. I turn around just in time to see them jump effortlessly over a fence and into the forest deep.

That's when I start to cry.
God's glory is too magnificent for me. His Creation cannot help but worship Him. I cannot help but be awed by Him. I moved too deeply that I cannot handle it.

I weep.

I mourn for those who do not know the Father's love like this--who go by day by day without acknowledging these moments. I mourn for the person I allowed myself to be for so long--a person who would have rushed right by such a moment.

And I weep tears of joy because of where God has brought me--
to this place--
to experience this moment
with Him
and the Creation which He declared, "Good."

"God saw all that he had made,
and it was very good."
Genesis 1:31

9 comments:

  1. Beautiful.

    I miss you.

    Pastor Kathy said to remind you and Elliott that she hasn't forgotten you, and she'd still like to partner with your ministry in some way, and she enjoyed both of you very much.

    I love you.

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  2. I think it is great that you see parts of God's creation worshipping Christ. It is hard for me to imagine that. In fact it reminds me of that song where it says how "the trees of the fields will clap their hands." but sadly the people who are created to worship Christ don't spend enough time trying to worship Him. We are designed to worship Him!!

    You don't have to mourn for the person you used to be. It helped you realize that you had to get away from that and now you can use what you were like as a way to encourage others to not be like that. Rejoice in the Lord Always!

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  3. Jessi: Thanks for the lovely comment. It made me happy. I miss you back! Hello to Pastor Kathy! We totally have to e-mail her with some info! Thanks for reminding me; we've been swamped with work.

    Vicki: You're right that I don't have to mourn for the person I once was. Sometimes I think of my life as lost time, but in reality, God will use it for his glory because hopefully my story can help others and help me relate to different people.

    On a side note, did you knowing worship can be spelled BOTH "Worshiping" AND "Worshipping?" That's my fun-dorky fact for the day!

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  4. Hey Rachel-
    It's Sam Phillippi French from Eastern. :) I accidentally stumbled onto your blog the other day and it's so encouraging to read. I hope you don't mind!! And I agree with Jessi- the above post IS beautiful. We all need more moments that are still with God. :)

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  5. Hi Sam! I'm oh-so-happy you stumbled upon this blog! Please come back often and comment. My hope is that we can all grow together in the Lord in the blog-o-sphere. : )

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  6. That was very refreshing to read. I can see what you mean. We all get caught up in the nothing of society and miss the little things which are probably the bigger things really.

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  7. haha yes I sometimes spell it worshiping and then think it looks odd so I add an extra p. But that definitely is awesome that either way. . .it is cool to worship!. . or worshipppppppppp

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  8. I think it is great that you see parts of God's creation worshipping Christ. It is hard for me to imagine that. In fact it reminds me of that song where it says how "the trees of the fields will clap their hands." but sadly the people who are created to worship Christ don't spend enough time trying to worship Him. We are designed to worship Him!!

    You don't have to mourn for the person you used to be. It helped you realize that you had to get away from that and now you can use what you were like as a way to encourage others to not be like that. Rejoice in the Lord Always!

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  9. That was very refreshing to read. I can see what you mean. We all get caught up in the nothing of society and miss the little things which are probably the bigger things really.

    ReplyDelete